silence like slicing
through bone.


if he says it enough
he'll believe it one day
but i never will because
my heart lies dormant
at the bottom of my pelvis
where it rots like cherries
under a tree.

(WATER) FALL

water fall
from the sky.

shedding a second skin,
i've grown a hide thick
enough to pierce.

from above, all of
these colours fall,

creating a barrier, to
save me from you.

regrowing cells every
seven years isn't so scary anymore.

i reach out hands
one after another
to touch you.

elusive dreams withheld from me,
i am a ghost what i used to be.
good Lord come down
and wipe away my eyes,

i don't want to see anything more.

you're a hive for political apathy.

you're saying you agree
by typing words onto an
interface.

cyber activism is only
a thing if you actually
engage with whats happening,

but you don't.

i wanna argue with you about it
because if you actually cared at all,

you would have been there with us,
in the cold, walking down the
main street with a homemade
banner in your hand.

I WENT ON YOUR COMPUTER,
AND YOUR EX-GIRLFRIENDS
EMAIL WAS OPEN, AND TO MY
SHAME, I READ EMAILS YOU
SENT HER AND CLICKED
OUT OF IT.

i did all this,

and now i feel

like i'm being strangled.

something has wired

itself into the muscles 

in my neck, and its got

me in this tight choke hold.

and i will never die, i will never die

i will live in this forever, forever

feeling as though my heart, has

its atoms pulled apart.

furious sudden anger has

 sown my mouth tightly

shut! with seeds of 

bitterness and anger.

you loved her so.

i can not reconcile myself

with the past, and i can only

whimper, so no other sound

can physically pass my lips

somethings holding all my

muscles so still, all this tension

inside my human body is

pulling each atom apart.

i fear my lips will explode,

i hold them closed so tight,

for fear of lost speech

becoming a reality, and

then, i would exist for

ever in this forever.

so i'll be silent,

and let the pull

become too much

and fade away

and fade away

and

 - why?!

why were you so kind?!

my heart, it actually breaks

to think of you, and her.

your soft body heavy, with thoughts of her! 

my eyes are watering for your grief,

i feel such intense empathy

and love, and i wish, i wish

i wish i could take away all

that hurts you. any

thing and every thing

that ever made you sad,

i want to eat it all,

consume it all,

so nothing exists but 

your happiness.

divine roses

pout their

lips,

at the
sight

of you.

i rip off the labels off my beer bottles

to make a point that i could rip myself 

off any time i want, because i try

but can't actually do it.

i'm a sinking battle ship, going

down through foam and booze,

but i'm not, because i'm the moon

that hazily echos anxieties you repress.

NO REST FOR WICKEDNESS

world fall.

let your tired

arms rest, and 

sleep soundly.

you have held

everyone, now

you're shaking

from the force

pressing down,

so,

fall, world.

let it all 

ease down,

rest your tired

arms and 

sleep.

FORGOT HOW TO WORK
1.
pouring wine like tea
down into the depths
of my body,

i am falling apart.

2.
last night my fingers
turned to ash, and
along the edges of
my lips, blood seeped
out. i think i am
literally going to pieces.



maybe

TO THE END; YOUR HEART 

FOR THE KEYS TO TREES

i take ropes, and

hang them from vines.

to intertwine more of

your veins into mine.

i haven't got the keys,

to your flowering eyes.

you open and shut them

at will, to tease my eyes,

that bloom like leaves.

pulling at the streams

running through me,

you're still mean,

but you're still mine.

POOLS OF RAINFORESTS 


you will call me
canopy, the way i 
draped myself over 
you last night.

i tangled my fingers
together, like flowers
from bone, so i could
hold your pool. i

move like silent rain
into dusk, calling your
name, an echo through
trunks, a cry for touch,

your name a silent pool
of distilled water, rising 
up from the depths of
the ocean's earth.

MISSING - I

you were in my dreams last night.
we held hands under the covers.

then, as i wrote this, (as a letter
in the form of ethereal love),
one of your songs begun to
loop in my head.

a memorial.

you told me 185 white chairs
lined along the city's square.

i couldn't imagine it, couldn't
quite grasp the feeling.

through your words, i could
nearly feel the sadness.

questions of heart break
and human worth running
around your head.

hold my memory, and
feel uplifted. all is well
and the future is bright.

FLOWERS LIVE IN THE OCEAN
(not in my eyes)

raising my fingertips
through the sand,
i could almost taste
the flowerbed of
oceanic love, you
don't hold for me.

i am a coping mechanism,
full of bright ideas and
even brighter eyes, but
still somehow in my
gut, i can feel knots
come undone, and
recreate themselves
as something
entirely new.

my eyes an oasis
in the distance.

i lie here, with my
thoughts crawling
out of my skin.

i used to wonder why
i was so disrupted,
disjointed and alive,

but i guess
i've always been waiting
for you to reach the
oasis of my eyes.

I NEVER SAID I WAS BRAVE


(I)
you will shed this
and slip away, into
one who loves you more.

i slide into myself.
ethereal is all i know
and everything real flickers
eternally in the fire place,

so burn me for eternity,
until my discerning heart
only sees you in him,
happier and complete.



(II)
IN YOUR DREAMS;
I HAVE RUN AWAY.

IN REALTY;
 ALL I WANT IS
FOR YOU TO STAY.

I AM DELUSIONAL

(this poem means nothing at all)

climbing up to your window sill,

i stain my skin with yours. 

letting fog roll into my eyes, i

let the pupils slip into oblivion.

lost in your bed sheets, i'm curling

myself around where you used to be,

hoping for a forgiving dawn, and

knowing by the time the sun peeks

over the edge, you'll be long gone.

DREAMTIME

the other night,
i pulled you
off my skin.

today, ashamed
and quiet. i picked

it all up

and clung to the
pieces. holding my
self together

vicariously
through you.

STAR SHOWER

i feel asleep with stars clinging to my thighs.

one leg wrapped around infinity,
and the other over you, i
could swear i was divine,

when i woke up in the morning
i felt like i had died,
for fear of your words
consuming mine.

OH YOU

you are lovely,

lovely, lovely, lovely.

everything about the word
sings your name. you are
so wondrous, when i am
with you i feel ethereal
and beautiful.