photo essays rule

purity ring rules too

my friend richard made this rad video!
 i really like it and i'm not sure why but its cool!
yeah dunedinnnn!

"i love you so much

like you're gonna get

so mad at me for

loving you so much

one more you're 

gonna wake up with

no skin and i'm gonna be 

wearing it ha like oh yeah

i'm under your skin! X

babe i love you so much"

you feel the need to decline?
you feel the need
to remind me that
you never really loved me in
the end.
and yes it was awful
but i tried to make it
taste sweet, and and
i tried again to make
it sweet, but you pour
salt all over it
you pour salt
all through it.

i know it shouldn't
upset me that
you still feel the need
to decline, but come babe.
really? was it absolutely
nothing to you, and life changing
for me? was it
just a flash in the pan
when i learnt so much
and let myself unravel
right in front of you.

i suppose 'i deserve it'
i suppose 'i was never worth it'
but fuck babe, you're the awful one
in the end.

dressed in black
i'm mourning all the
time lost when i'm
not with you.

-i miss your beating
heart and i miss
your attitude
.
i miss the way
we sit at a
high altitude-

without you i am lost.
mourning the lost time spent
without you.
i am at a loss without you.

cold fingers slowly
burning closer to
my eyes, that water
to think - i am
not lying in your
arms tonight!

i am driftwood just
waiting to wash up next to you
so soon

hi my friend hana is so amazing and i love her so much she's a good good friend here read her review of terminal velocity cxxxxxxxxherexxxx

you're so 
so so so.
its okay.
cause its okay.
i don't feel well.
i might spew.
oh love.
love love love.
i know, i know
i know, yeah i do.
and you do too.

conversation
sprials down
stairs into flooded 
basements and
we sit in silence
on pixels,
but its not silence.
its love in winter
with the trees 
without leaves
 - but never 
without love.

i can track all
the movements
you make in
your house.

i can feel
the pauses
and breaths
of air that
sweep off 
you.

oh lord
i wish i was
with him

lov mah boo heaps

i'm listening to this song as i browse youtube/take down whats on my wall and get ready to move away
and it was like: bam.

you're eleven again.

my room already looks too empty and i've barely started.

i've starting packing.

moving is cool

but also sucks

i spent last night
cashing in all my bad luck.
he gave me back so many things
one of them being you,
you my love,
my heart of hearts.

i spent last night forgiving
all my sins, he said: "go girl,
don't be afraid of the cold
winter breeze, you'll see that
everything turns out fine.

from rough patch to 
rough patch you'll glide
of gold ice, and you know
yeah you know
everything turns out fine"

and i said: "oh for sure, you know
you're the reason i exist, i know it
too - you could crush me like 
a bug, you could crush me like
a leaf, you could crush me like
a moth but i don't think you will yet 
 - please not yet - 
because there's a lot you have for me to do.

i spent last night cashing
in all my bad luck, giving it
away and not being half as bad
as you are good. i spent last night
in bliss, in warmth, in love, in tune
with you.

you've given me all i could ever want for in a
conversation.

tomorrow at 2 pm at the bond

street bridge i'm going to do a performance. 

 "behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes"

"its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling"

"the torrents of centuries rolling over the human race, has continually brought new perfections, the cause of it, ever active though unseen, is found in the demands made by our senses, which always in their turns demand to be occupied"

"i'm not happy not doing anything. when positive things are rolling in, you've got to take them when you can get them."

i'm sorry i'm so gooby. 

holyyyy oh my god he's such a babe i can't believe he's into me he's so nice and reallllly lovely, like he's so lovely and caring and sweet and so beautiful and his soul is so amazing and shines so brilliantly from him. i can't believe he's into me, he's totally outta my league oh my gosh i love him so much!!

                           

map out my stars darling, they're all for you. rows and rows and rows and lines and lines and lines - all for you. your beautiful body. your wonderful soul. your smile. the touch of your lips grazing softly across my neck, and you fingers lazily tracing something along my side. your hand shimmering up your shirt to make me shiver and shine - your skin so sensually against mine. oh darling. feeling you with me is like touching eternal flame. you are better than anything i've ever felt, or tasted, or anything. you're the most lovely thing. i don't even know how to explain how incredibly i feel for you.

my hair is now black like my soul.

working life

send me your

kisses, and send me

your love - 

i'll post mine back to you

no matter what.

manila envelopes 

circulate the floor,

telling all the secretaries 

how office politics can

not eclipse our love, -

how post it notes

stuck to the fridge

mean nothing to us.

it's like riding in a lift

for the rest of my life.

i'll never give you my 

resignation,

instead i'll give you

my hand.

your body's too hot.
my body's too warm,
i lie
listening to people 
giggle downstairs,
and in this darkness 
strangling us, humid
and cold and wet, 
we're mourning a
love not lost yet.

you hate my voice
and i hate your touch
kisses hollow on both
sides. different seasons
can be so hard to sallow
when you've tasted sun.
now its summer which is
winter in your room and
we're back to mourning 
a love that isn't lost yet.

its not nice on either side
because it feels like we're
failing, but it's just another
season, just another tide
and they shift and surge
and everything will be 
alright. we're mourning 
a love that is not yet lost,
and has forever to flourish

i should do that.


i'll do it tomorrow.


tomorrow the's only sure thing.


yeah, now and forever.


it's now or never.


or not.


yeah.



fuck forever.

this is a rad as website rad as!

like rocks in the day, 

you're all i need

i bet we 

could even pull

blood from grass.

without you four

i am like a closed

book because without

you four

i am have a shadow 

of a person - too

hidden to do anything

productive, or be anyone

worth an article in the sunday magazines.

if i win an oscar i'll melt it

and give you all a piece.

but more importantly

you can have a piece of my heart.

i was lost

inside the dark 

poured out my last

thoughts into the

emptiness, and tried

hard to walk straight

through his eyes - but no

its harder to fight than fake

it and each time he kissed

my chest, i swore and swore

and swore again i was faking.

inside the rooms of sweet

smelling flowers hand painted black

by hand i kept my step

light (or as light as could

be) and kept moving

in what felt like a forward direction.

i had no idea i was meandering 

toward you.

it only took one foot, one foot

to show me that there was something

more than what i thought there was

a reality totally devoid of darkness

only shades and shadows and 

tones shifting as sand slides 

through air - on my love

you have given me the means

and the ways to shake away

the cobwebs and create -

you were right, come 

whetu wahine, come

my love with you 

i'm never 

faking.

jos is a genuis!!

its his album !!

i'm so proud of

him he's the best

evaaaa

a crime to incite suicide
 - how about a crime to
seduce.
cause they should lock
us up - the way
our legs move, long
and spread.

femme fatels exist
only in old grey screens
 - fuck off! clearly you've
never met us love (hate).

you're gonna get swallowed up
you're gonna get consumed
you're gonna get swallowed up (babay)
you're gonna get consumed.

we drive tanks,
and like you to taste the curb,
killing each boy, one by one
with our curves.

take this warning,
here our cries:
we'll fuck you up boy,
and give you the best time of your life.

wanna give us a ride?

my love is like
 fire, he
burns constant
and without inhibitions
and i would feed him
fuel until i
could not - but
even after that -  i would try
to move my cold bones
and still muscles to continue
to sustain him.

come in between me
and my man - you could
try but i'd scratch through
steel to be with him.

i burn fire for
him, constant
without expectation i
will burn forever for him.

 everyone's being like: ew what are those they're so gross!!! but they're not. they're just hanging out eating dorritos. leave them alone internet.

#waah

these two girls make life worth while

this bed feels empty without you lover.

tea on my tongue
but for a taste of
you i am left wanting
and waiting and
waning like the moon
that slips behind your eyes
to hide in a place of supreme safety.

i want to hide behind your eyes.
so soon, and so far and so soon
and i and i and i.

pointless post 1:
- i can tie up my hair.

sauce

i speak,
i am spoken for,
and i am lost for 
words.
i am cold in your
eyes but
warm in your heart
you forget my name
i forget your shirt
at the party at someone's
house after too much whiskey.
darling breathe easy
i'm not cold in your eyes
i'm still warm in your heart
burnt in the back of your eye lids
like you are in mine.
distance is hard because it
starts to slip  - the remembrance
of the way you stand,
and hold my hand and the slow
moving bat of your eye lashes.
this music's so soft, and it makes
me want to loop myself through
you

- soon so soon.
until then we must
wait and try to see straight 
into each others eyes from memory.


this bed feels empty without you lover.

images from a show i did last week at none gallery, called terminal velocity. it was pretty cool yeah. a massive thank you to: mya who took the photos/video, hana, brendan + the none crew!!! radikool c:

i've been so unproductive this last wee while. holyyyy.

i missed them last night at dpag! naw mannn gutted as. so rad!!!

while you - you
are tripping over the leaves
of winter's fallen loves, and
i sit in this isolated room
with blood on the walls
listening to my own personal
cat calls echo
off the sun roof.
and we drive, underneath
the undergrowth waiting for
the next tip, the next hit, the next
screaming fit of wild passion
to consume our own meaty 
inhibitions that we try so hard to lose - 
and never can because they stick
like glue to the underside of
our bellies slowly smelting our
own golden souls into silver.
and we are, we exist like perfect
realities reflecting off each other
if i could hold you, if i could hold you
oh if i could hold you
right now i would take away all
of the uncertainty highlighted in your
brain by the glowing neon highlighters
of the city.
the city where i was born,
the city where you will die,
the city i will never forgive. 
i have lost you before i know
in some past dream you have vanished,
and being the femme object of my affection
i have pined for you,
pined for love's lost losers trying hard
to differentiate their own fucked up bondage fantasies
and awful memories of yesteryear - haunted by melodies.
i have waited a thousand broken
years for your soft light
that spills from your eyes of ice
that compels me.
and i would wait a million more
to reach centurion and hold you in
my arms, to feel the bat of your eye
lashes on the brow of my cheek, or on
the rise and slight fall of my collar bone.
oh i could give you everything and
anything if you would ask for,
but you do not ask for, you have it
all in one glance from me - even 
though i would give you more.
this is a bonding of atomic proportions -
we connected once, in our friends bed - 
our frenzied touching of bodies rumpling
and upturning the sheets like a sailing ship
hitting a reef. we connected once,
and now forever unable to disentangle ourselves
like a whirlwind combined
with a combine harvester. 
sublime, alive and ever so slightly minty
we are new beings born into each other
like smoke twisting itself up out of your
lips - never have i seen anyone smoke so
beautifully - like you are from the twenties
in a silent movie.
in a movie made from clips of romance
and beauty - with a dashing heroine and
an alphabetic hero - but without all the nostalgia.
i know that others grab your quick attention and
you sit with them a while, playing tennis and giggling.
her hand and yours brush, both flush
and the slightest surge of guilt tingles up your arms.
but my darling, - oh my love - do not feel 
too guilty for the judge and jury could never
hang, draw and quarter you, and these half loves keep us
breathing properly, they are like almost falling
off a cliff into oblivion - almost. enjoy those
moments of beauty with those girls 
- but do not tell me -
as they flush and blush and giggle
and you keep the bouncing ball bouncing
in between your soft glances,
but the lingering looks never linger long and
soon you're gone from her, and back into
bed with me

we are ultimate,
unlike anything before,
but just like everything before.
we are ultimate.

He made the world a grassy road before our bare, wandering feet, and crushing the stone into the softest sand between our toes, but we're wondering where to sleep
Clever words on pages turn to fragments; Circles, points and lines, and cover them like carpets.
With graceful, meaningless ornamental designs

Come quick, you light that knows no evening - come, alone to the alone!
There are a thousand 

sanities worth leaving to take your madness home
You dance inside my chest where no one sees you, but sometimes I see you.

Rejoice, the cleansing of my lips - rejoice, salvation of my soul!
But I still have a thousand half-loves(oh my god! I wanted to shoot myself just thinking about it)
And you think I don’t mean what I say? I mean every word I say.
I threw a stone down at the reflection of my image in the water and it altogether disappeared.
I burst, it shattered me like a bullet through a bottle.
And I'm expected to believe that any of this is real.