lover, its this.this i want to hold forever.this is what i've always needed/wanted/craved.this is me.you're not my other half/not my twin.you are my reflection.my sun shadow.you are the infinite amount of energy melted into my bone marrow.you are the slowly revolving mindset that swings from jealous rages to quiet peace of thinking.you are everything human to me.we are each others skies, lofty and alive.you are as tangible to me, as i am to myself.its this.this feeling complex and confusing.even when you're worst than hitler, you're as saving as grace.you pull me from murky waters into silt streams i can see through with clarity.in your room alone and naked, i am clothed with such emotion i was never naked at all.not even when i was born.red strings looped through our souls bind us.with all i have, beloved.

do you remember that night - it was the first time we had hung out since the first time we met and you went home, and i went home too. but i had come up to visit family, and you said: hey come over and i said: sure.

we had far too many beers remember? like we had six, and then we brought fifteen more from the liquor shop by your house right. we drunk one or something, but it was kinda awkward - we didn't know each other that well, sitting in your lounge, just us. so you suggested watching videos on your laptop. like funny videos on youtube. infomercials. but infomercials for silly things like the hula chair, and that hat you can wear that's actually a tv screen? yeah those ones. and we drunk more beers. we started off sitting on the floor (you'd plugged in your laptop to the stereo so we had to sit close to it, on the floor, rather than the couches), we were like half a meter apart maybe? then as the night progressed - more beers were drunk, more videos watched, more laughter bubbled out. we got closer and closer and i remember that our arms were almost touching, when people came over to your house, came up to the lounge. so we switched to sitting on the couch. real close because other people were sitting on it too. and i started to feel uncomfortable - no, not that. more like nervous because i knew no one, it wasn't that we were sitting close, if anything that was kinda like exhilarating. like my heart beat was up and i was smiling. and by this stage we were both pretty drunk, and our inhibitions gone, and i was feeling sorta anxious, and my hand moved to find your hand. 

it was really romantic.