i have no subtly. i have no 
breeze to swan through open
doors and make everything 
smell nice. i'm so fucking
difficult. i keep squirming
and you hold me through 
words (or try to). but the 
only thing that satisfies me
is you in the flesh. anything
else feels contrived. like
you're lying all the time.
like it's all an elaborate joke
and one day you'll jump out
from behind a door with a 
big sign that says: U R A
LOSER. why would i
not be surprised? why would
i bat an eyelid when it's what
i expect. besides, you're going
to leave me.

you just don't know it yet.