conversations elope.
my hand through
your body and your
face echos inside my
eyelids.

i know i know
i sit and sit
and conversations
elope around me.

take it all back,
sallow my words.
take it all back,
sallow nyself

sourceee

i can not figure
out what i want
to say, and when
ever i make something
reality, i just confuse
myself. messages get
blocked up and my
nose does too. i'm 
becoming unstuck
the tape didn't help
it just suffocated my pores
and i'm so poor and
lonely and how hard
isn't my life i just can't
figure out how to say
what i want to say

i lack the method and
the skills and the attitude.
but not the ideas.

the only time i lack ideas
is when i have the skills
and the method and the attitude
down pat

yum

1.

i left the space.
i vacated my body
and my mind.
i let my self
tumble and slowly
inch toward
the air that
curls and lets you
steep in your own
feelings. isolation and
cool breezes, i
try to make amends
with my slowly forming
rock formations of cold
lava.

2.

you told me once
that i was nothing at
all, but everything at once
and i had no shame
in admitting back
to you, that you
were right.

you are the softness
inside my ever burning
soul that burns for you.
i burn for you, and the
love you are a reflection of.

i am nothing without either
of you. i could never love
another person as much as
i love you.

3.
we become (not static)
but normal. our love
does not diminish, or
fall to the side,
but we accustomise to
the rosy haze. it
does not leave, but
we become complacent.

4.
let us never become complacent.

source

CATAPULT

28th october | snake pit

1. your sweat feelsgood against my skin.

2. i can not rememberbeing alone


3. you are infinite inyourself

4. i find solace in you

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Her dionysiac aesthetics combined with
music by FAUXHOUND, is sure to create
an atmosphere of macabre debauchery.

Audience participation is energetically encouraged. 

i love you!
i flit and can never
sit still. but i love you.

you love me
and although i know
i'm hard to love
you still do.

curling up with you is
the most amazing

"i don't know, i don't care and it doesn't make any difference."

jack kerouac

you can not tell me that

this is it. 

i don't know i don't know i never knew.

leave me now before this becomes too great

and i collapse.

i feel like i might cave inwards

and burst into confetti. 

would you love me then? if

i was consistent and would

sit happily in your hands. i would

be quiet and still. i would be

static, i would not cry late

at night, or scream, or try to

tear out the smoke.

what if i made a mistake only you can fix?

you always fix my collapsing emotions

that are too much for you.

i am too much, i was always too much for anyone.

how do i amend myself to be still. how

can i alter what is in my bones

and blood. 

i can not,

so we might as well give up. 

"i loved her, and sometimes she loved me too"

Pablo Neruda

i understand the implications

and the actions. i understand

the method and the means.

i do not trust your heart. 

i do not think it can hold

water, or that it would start

to bleed if you woke up

and i was sitting still in the lake.

i understand your love, but 

can not feel it from my own

fear drowning me in haze. 

i do not like this, i feel isolated

(again) surely this is ice where 

i am used to daisies.

what if i made a mistake.

made a promise too early 

and now am left with this. oh

my love.

this love is too much.

i am getting wrinkles,

and i am getting scared. 

why can i never sit still?

why am i never satisfied.

tonight is the end, tonight was always the end of everything.

could i hold your hand in the smoke?