"i loved her, and sometimes she loved me too"

Pablo Neruda

i understand the implications

and the actions. i understand

the method and the means.

i do not trust your heart. 

i do not think it can hold

water, or that it would start

to bleed if you woke up

and i was sitting still in the lake.

i understand your love, but 

can not feel it from my own

fear drowning me in haze. 

i do not like this, i feel isolated

(again) surely this is ice where 

i am used to daisies.

what if i made a mistake.

made a promise too early 

and now am left with this. oh

my love.

this love is too much.

i am getting wrinkles,

and i am getting scared. 

why can i never sit still?

why am i never satisfied.

tonight is the end, tonight was always the end of everything.

could i hold your hand in the smoke?