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i hear giggling outside my bedroom window

and my heart starts to panic

and my breath stops in my lungs.

are you the source of reckless laughter?

i would spend my whole life

trying to answer the question that

is that look you get

in your eyes, but would you throw

it all away for a smile from a girl you

don't even know.

my heart leaps up into my eyes and sees right through you,

then retracts, and hides deep in the recesses of my body.

my bone marrow is boiling and freezes

solid. my skin crawls and peels off. i

leave bits of myself strewn across the floor. 

disintegrating into non-existent memories

of smoke that don't even matter.

distill your reckless laughter in my alcoholic lungs my love.