i leave myself behind.

i can not stand myself.

awake too early

and awake too late.

i arrived, but didn't come.

blank features 

and soundless mouth.

lips made for speech

but incapable of it.

hands, meant to hold you,

but withheld from you.

i can not want you 

to want me.

i leave myself below the line.

could not even

muster the effort

to punch below the belt.

could not even

master the movements

of you against me against me.

i am blank.

lips made for you

but i am incapable of filling

your place in my mouth.

my eyes, cold

and desolate, 

watching the

emptied door frame

in awe.