i can't change.
i can't alter my new ways.
i remember your body
i remember your hands
i remember you eyes of pure ice.

the colour of cold, but never cold.
i am warmest in your gaze.

i am sitting here. now,
in my bed that could only
ever be our bed

(you slept in it while i was away)

i can not change, i can not become one
when i was one before with you.

i am left in a limbo
more pure than springwater,
more lovely than your absence,
and almost as sweet as your kiss.

not with you,
never without you,
left in limbo.