Tuesday, October 9, 2012


"i don't know, i don't care and it doesn't make any difference."
                                              jack kerouac


you can not tell me that
this is it. 
i don't know i don't know i never knew.
leave me now before this becomes too great
and i collapse.

i feel like i might cave inwards
and burst into confetti. 

would you love me then? if
i was consistent and would
sit happily in your hands. i would
be quiet and still. i would be
static, i would not cry late
at night, or scream, or try to
tear out the smoke.

what if i made a mistake only you can fix?

you always fix my collapsing emotions
that are too much for you.

i am too much, i was always too much for anyone.
how do i amend myself to be still. how
can i alter what is in my bones
and blood. 

i can not,
so we might as well give up. 

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